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…Find peace.

Do I have your attention?
Good.
The world needs you,
And me -2->

psst.
I need you
————–→
I’m sitting here,
In garage,
House on hill,
Feeling a bit numb, tired.
I have been weeping, yelling, reflecting,
And resisting.

Fighting

I ain’t much for some of these words,
But,
I practice hearing them for what they really are,
Lessons

Even fighting can bring me to peace.

…If I Choose To See The Value In It

I’ve been asking Universe-inside and out-for obvious direction.
I can feel Entheos leading me,
However Fear can manifest through thoughts and ways,
In myself and others,
Leading me elsewhere.

Sometimes ignorance shows face.
That’s a disease right there.

We all gotta live this life accordingly->Free
Hand in Hand
Harmoniously
Specifying direction
Freeing us from,
Systems Fear Values

Cuz it’s true you know,

Be aware of what ya wish for,
You may just get it

————————-→
A friend of mine passed on Saturday.
Cancer was the name of the game and although Death and I are cool with each other,
DEATH
I have found myself saying as of late…

“FUCK THIS!”

I have mentioned before,
When I begin to use the word Fuck it is most usually the 13-year-old in me.
Sometimes this girl can feel so much,
There seems to be no other word to convey her feelings other than Fuck.

Fuck The System isn’t about the system of others.
This Country
Another Country
Governments
Families or Friends,
Fuck The System is about my system,
No longer serving me,
As I am becoming more aware of…

Me Serving The System

——————–→
What system do you practice?
Believe?
Do you think it matters?
More importantly,
Do you feel it matters?

Why?

The system being fucked was put into place and created a long time ago.
Before I was born,
Before you were born.

This system consisted of me being conditioned,
Going along with it.
Going along with what others said, thought,
Or told me.

Whether through Friends or Families,
Boyfriends
Best Friends
Doctors
Therapists,
On Television
In the paper
The Internet,
This system did it’s best to lead me to think it is The Way.
The only way…

To be

Some may call these systems,
“Hypnotizing”
-I just winked at you-

The system no longer serving me was,
Reinforced
Attached to,
Continued and recreated by me.
Over and over and over.
Thinking,
Believing…

This Is Me

When really,
None of this is” Me.”
Because “Me”

Doesn’t exist

What exists?
Everything and nothing,
Which leads to systems failing.

A great thing failing is.

All Systems Down

——————-→
Systems are made to be broken.

Updated
Reinforced
Built
Changed
Fucked

A system no longer serving me,
But I serving it,
Causes discord.
I feel throat closing
Tummy sinking
Eyes widening
Mouth sitting on face
Heart tightening
Mind spinning…

Existence and Essence feeling withheld,
Discouraged
Starved
Fading

Most importantly,
Integrity feeling compromised.

Integrity is a big one for me.
One of the reasons I am out in the Dez,
Is Integrity.

Compromised
Questioned
Valued

Integrity let’s me know when something ain’t rite for Her.
By going inside of Her-you-She is learning what Integrity values,

Gold

Just so we are on same page,
Compromising Integrity is bullshit.
Much like Cancer.

And Much like Cancer,
A system I have put into place,
No longer serving me,
Can eat me up.

From The Inside

Presently,
A system no longer serving me is being a “Person.”

A person is a Persona

That ain’t real.
It is only when I become all,
I am a servant of nothing,
No one.
Especially,
“Me” and “My” valued systems,
No longer benefitting from.
I No longer serve your systems or your “Me,”
I become a real Human…

…I become a student.
And remain this way.
As well as,
Open
Especially when other’s valued systems may be grabbin’ hold of me.

-Pssst->
People are conditioned to do this.
It’s called labeling.
Defining someone.
Some People love to “define” another.
But a Human,
A Human don’t care to define.
A Human is aware of being.
It is impossible as well as a bit demeaning,
Even thinking, let alone wanting,
To define another.
This is another disease.
Separation.
Separating can cause violence.
And violence is destructive,
Just like Cancer-

…When I “am” a person,
I play a part.
Only causing the destruction of Essence.

Some can be afraid of Essence.
Afraid of feeling,
Which in turn can cause Essence to hide.

I ain’t much for hiding.
I know how it feels.
It feels as if a million ants are crawling though pulse.
Never settling.

It can feel deceptive,
Much like Cancer and my perspective at times,
Hiding can do it’s best tricking me into thinking…

“I’m finished”

…But a real cool dude named “Osho” said the following to his Professor friend,
As he fought death in hospital bed->

“How can you die? You have never lived”

———–→
This piece you are reading,
I have been working on for over a month.
Sometimes when I write,
I take time,
Ants slow over a period of Time you know.
What ends up happening?
The peace is lost…

Only to be found

Most times,
Computer likes to handle my reactions,
Direction
It likes to shut down and not save certain pieces.

I have come to accept computer and it’s ways.
Perhaps the direction I was heading wasn’t the–rite->one,
Yet.

Sigh,
Where are you Peace?

And you know what else?
When writing this,
While friend was alive,
I had a feeling I would be finishing it when she was gone.
I even saw it.

Strange?
Maybe,
But this world is a strange place.
Is it a place?
Especially when at times,
I’m not too sure what strange place I am in.

“Heat focus! What’s so strange about it?”

Oh man,
Thank you.
I’m glad you asked.
I’ll tell ya what’s really strange…

The Lack Of Living

——————–→
Cancer is a disease.
Both you and I “know” this.
But do we understand?
Can we understand?

Will you be open to a theory of mine?
Great.

Cancer Is You
Cancer Is Me
Cancer Is Fighting
Cancer Is In between
Cancer Is Separation
Cancer Is Violence
Cancer Is You Vs. Me
Cancer Is Thinking
Cancer Is Air
Cancer Is a Word
Cancer Is Despair
Cancer Is Profit
Cancer Is Deceptive
Cancer Is Water
Cancer Is Blood
Cancer Is Dead

…Cancer Is Currency

Cancer or any disease have strange ways creating Value.
Whether it be in the life once lived,
Reflection

…Or the life dying to live,
Deception

Cancer Is Valuable

The world profits from Cancer.
Through pharmaceuticals,
Medical communities,
Books,
Foods and media…

What would we do without Cancer?

And,
A system in which we all have,
A belief system,
Can allow Cancer to thrive.

Life In Disguise
Dying To Be Alive

Another valuable way of the Cancer can be Perspective.
People can use Cancer as a way,
Reminding them to live

Which is more valuable?
Living
Or
Being shown Life through Death
Dying

There is something to be said about a Reminder.
It’s there because I may forget.

But how can I forget to live?

This is why the Desert has been so healing for me.
It breathes life into me…

I Am Surrounded By Living

-A bird just flew in the garage.
World has a really amazing way of re-focusing me with harmony.
Life->

——————-→
Is Cancer influenced by words?
Ways?
Beliefs?
Thoughts?

All these can be a disease.

Words
Language
Communication
Thoughts,
Can turn into…

Actions

…All can be ways in which Dis->ease feeds,
Becoming disease.

War

You ever notice…

Killing
Murdering
Massacres
Rapes
Homicides
Disease
Death…

Wars

Are depicted through ALL forms of media?
News
Movies
TV shows
Internet
Art
And so on…

But engaging in sex,
Masturbating
Observing self and another nude
A breast exposed
A vagina shown
A penis visible…

Ain’t depicted.
And when,
If they are,
A LOT of discord reveals self through self-imposed valued ways?

Conditioned Systems Valued->Value My Way

Tell me why?
Why is this system the way?

It’s not for me.
Is it for you?

I’m listening.
Without judgments,
Without trying to make you change.

I’m listening with desire to understand,
Why you think,
Why you feel,
Depicting violence
Killing another
Rape
War
Disease…

Is more valuable,
Then Love
Or what is natural,

Being The Supreme

I’ll give you a moment.
Let that sink in
I will too.

——————–→
I’ve never had Cancer.
I’ve known some who have.
Some have died because,
And some,
Are now living without.

I’ve been in a few hospitals,
And in my darkest,
Body
Mind
Heart
Essence,
Disease had hold on.

Dying ain’t easy
But Death
Can
Be

When I was with friend who passed,
I was all torn up inside.
But on the outside…

I Kept Together

I most usually keep it “Together”
But lately,
I have been aware even this system needs to be fucked.

It’s a system I no longer value,
Seeing as “Keeping it together,”
Kinda feels like hiding.
-I’m staring at you-

I don’t have to keep anything together.
I can feel torn apart
I can feel discord
I can question the fuck out of other systems
I can fail
I can fall…

You Have To Fall To Rise Again

Ain’t that what “Bibles,” “Holy” and “Spiritual” scriptures are about?

-My eyes are wide and I have a grin on face-

———————–→
Cancer has been around for a really long time.
So have humans.

Humans are curious.
They like to fix things,
Have theories tested.

So why is Cancer seemingly resistant to values,
Devouring the vehicle,
Fucking their systems?
-Life->

Why do some cancers go away?
Why do others not go away?

Why isn’t there a cure for Cancer?

Are we as a world okay with Cancer?
Is that why?

Is this a system no longer serving us?
Rather,
Our lives,
Serving it?

Am I cool with Cancer because I have been conditioned to be?

Is Cancer just a way life thins out life?
No reason.
Just crowd control?

What if I got Cancer?
You?

What would you do?
What would I do?

I don’t know,
Do you?

And I breathe…

—————→
What may work for someone,
May not work for another.

Cancer Doesn’t See Values->Cancer Feeds Them

I thought as I wept,
Friend no longer “here.”
I reminded self on mountain last night,
“It’s okay.”
It was challenging to find peace with feeling,
Not put so much thought into,
Allow Her-Me-to just fucking feel.

While stars in sky shined,
Moon seemingly turning upside down as it told me…

“Heather,
You have been hiding your feelings.”

Shit.
“Fuck That System”

———————→
Cancer grabbed friend tight.
Taking her within a 2.5 month time period.

It was a real strange and beautiful experience,
Meeting someone who reminded me so much of my Grandmother and yet,
Myself too.
Strange signs as well as similarities with not only our “Stories,”
Also our Feelings.
I learned a lot from this woman
And this friend of mine,
Well…

I really love her->

This friend of mine
Was a bit older
But that didn’t matter
This friend of mine
Came from Germany
Flew to different countries
Adopted by CIA
This friend of mine
Her mom an artist
This friend of mine
Lived a life
Full of strange
This friend of mine
Came into my life when I really needed her
This friend of mine
Accepted me
As I accepted her
This friend of mine
Didn’t try to change me
Didn’t want to
This friend of mine
Shared experiences
Wisdom
Ways

This friend of mine
Went through a lot of pain
Inside
Outside
This friend of mine
Was funny
Humourous
Witty
Intelligent
Revolution in pulse
This friend of mine
Was magical
Wondered and believed
This friend of mine
Was-is-real
Authentic
Genuine
Loving
Kind
Free
This friend of mine
A human
This friend of mine
Allowed me to see

Value Lessons

Value Humans

Value Love->Fuck Systems

…And I weep.
Thank you Ro.
You will forever influence these ways,
-Rite->here.

xx
-h->
http://www.goldsrite.com
IMG_3083

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