Being Aware Of The Cage, Is Key.
A few weeks ago I went to a photo festival and
Found myself on the side of the road weeping.
A week later,
As I went to edit words I had written on side of road in the Dez,
I was distracted by a word.
An older woman was in front of me as I was editing,
On this larger of smaller shiny lil white boxes.
She was yelling, passionately point of viewing her thoughts,
On white privilege.
Reminded me of an entry I’ve been working on,
Taken the back seat for some reason,
“I See Color”
A lot of people say they don’t see color,
That we are “all” the same.
And ya know?
I agree to a certain point.
I am you and you are me
Have had a lot to do
Making this sum up
But what is it about color, seeming to be the same?
I love colors,
What would we do without ‘em?
And why are some trying to blind the masses with their no color ways?
Ain’t it a bit strange,
Not seeing color.
I am very grateful not only to have and see through these hazels,
But to see colors in everyone and everything drawing my gaze.
Can you imagine blind to color?
Whether born this way,
Or choosing to be?
There are some who have no problem exclaiming what color they prefer,
Or don’t care much of,
Wanting rest of world to see their vision.
Manipulating words, leading astray, unknowing-and knowing-humans into their colorless ways.
“Am I in the heartbeat of America?”
Right now I am in a diner out in Ventura.
The spot is tucked behind a car dealership,
Surrounded by color.
I see yellow, red, blue, white, green, pink,
Just on the table under these keys.
Through the door,
Leading to dealership,
A yellow corvette amidst giant balloons.
Red white and blue,
Next to yellow vehicle,
A red white and blue flag hanging from a wooden pole.
This whole place is what I would imagine,
Who the American flag is directed towards.
The “working” class.
I ain’t much for titles or classes unless I learn from.
They can be used to define, label, box ya in,
So whomever can keep you under “their” ways.
How can you or I ever begin to understand what color is?
Trying to define color or anything, any being,
Can be a way to demean,
Trapped in a cage,
From the forces that be.
-You can do this all to yourself you know. Remember, you are the force.
I’m staring at you, feel that force-
…Classes I learn from make me think or feel.
Classes empowering one another,
Wanting this seed to grow and ain’t afraid of what color this seed may be.
Most usually I find the best classes are the ones outside of any structured,
As I sit here,
Nice waitress accommodating my needs,
I can’t help but wonder…
“What does privilege mean?”
Tucked in corner writing,
I wonder if the waitress can afford that new yellow corvette on the minimum wage she most likely makes.
“You make minimum wage heat”
I forget this a lot.
Since being out in Dez,
Internal wealth has outshine any hand-held dime once valuable to me.
I’ve never created more in my life.
I have no other choice but to, you know?
When things happened in one’s life that changes them,
As mine has,
I have to acknowledge life,
“…Insanity Doing The Same Thing over And Over
I’m Insane If I think Things Will Change
I Have To Change Them
And If I Don’t Soon
It Will Forever Change Me…”
-Journal Entry May 2014
…I’m sure if she wanted to,
Waitress could get corvette.
I hear dealers are quite excellent salesmen,
Accommodating your every need
And even helping you out with a loan
The first rounds on me.
What is this word to me?
“Why were you in Ventura heat?”
Partner in crime was working on set.
I used to love being on set,
But there are two colors in particular seen when I look around to some sets that be.
Blue and green.
Green being money, desire, the taken advantage of, stuff, the “life” afforded to “live,” ego and worth valued from…
The lack of fulfillment money or gigs ever truly brought myself and some others on sets worked, some few years past.
I can’t imagine working a gig,
Having a “client” now.
I never really saw them for anything other than the humans both them and I are,
But in the biz,
Titles and labels rules everything around me.
..If that’s all I am willing to see.
I’ve been in some pretty gnarly situations financially out here in Dez,
But I imagined being asked to do a gig again,
Selling a life,
I strongly disagree.
Upon returning to LA,
I will never compromise integrity,
Creatively or humanly,
I will never sell you the idea you need anything outside of you.
I will never sell you anything telling you, “You’d be better if.”
I will never sell you false worlds and superficial images.
I will never sell you,
-except a cup of coffee-
“We All Need Money Only Because We All Agree We Need Money”
So there’s a slight chance I may just give you that cup of coffee.
I will however,
Share with you stories,
My own and those of lives lived and lives living.
I will share writings.
Through this and other shiny white boxes.
Pages of books,
Films I’m writing.
Whatever I can get my hands on.
I’ll share sounds.
My voice and others.
Noisy letters and songs,
Letting you know,
I don’t agree with wrongs.
I’ll share depictions.
I ain’t too sure who shares them with me,
But I ain’t scared of them no more,
Meant to see.
I’ll share photos.
This one can be challenging.
I can feel overprotective at times.
Allowing someone to let you in is a privilege.
Especially when the one allowing,
Is most usually being ignored,
-By either them or someone else-
I will share my heart.
You got it.
I’ve learned and am learning,
Hearts are meant to be shared.
I will share my life.
All of it.
With you all,
And ask nothing in return.
Maybe a few things would bring smile,
And opening up to the colors and privilege that surround…
I really loved-still do-the crews I ran with and the sets we were on.
I am also very understanding that the biz world affords families to eat,
Send young pups to school.
I am aware that it affords many of the humans working on these sets,
A life they truly love.
It’s the intent of this new life,
Sets don’t rule everything around me.
They can be a huge platform for growth,
Love and Change.
And what they have done,
Is teach me,
On who I am to be and what kinds of sets I surround self with,
Surround self with dreamers, thinkers, doers and stills.
Surround self with others,
Who want to live along this dream rite here
While she holds their hands with their own
…Back on set,
I was very grateful to have a free cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit.
I got a bottle of water too.
But you know what other word popped into mine as I was observing?
What’s the difference?
Maybe entitlement is the ego part of privilege,
Not acknowledging the greatness with getting what you desire,
Because you’re a human, any color, you know?
I can see, feel and hear, entitlement a mile a way.
Careless with most everything
Uses the word “I” and “me” a lot,
But not because it wants to stand on its own,
Because it feels it deserves the legs it stands on.
And ya know?
Sometimes entitlement seeps into my mind.
But I think that’s when privilege takes over,
“It’s a privilege to be alive.”
This woman who distracted me with her “white privilege” comment was implying to the man her sights were set…
As a white man,
He was already privileged.
Perhaps may of felt entitled too.
Doing what he was doing,
And probably had no thought that anyone would even question him.
And why should he I suppose?
From the conversation I listened to,
A white man can video tape as much as he can.
Evasively-In your face-because his color,
Belongs to him,
“Hmmmm” I thought.
“You see what he did? You see what she did Heat?”
I watched the clip again.
Both were doing the same.
They both seem to be just as privileged as these eyes can see,
Both are human,
Human Privilege Is The Biggest Entitlement I’ve Ever Done Seen
What other species has felt ever so entitled to run this world?
Rule this land?
What I should do,
How I should see.
Human privilege is entitled,
Destroys what it is to be.
My eyes squinted as I thought about this world and the beings residing.
All of them.
The US can be seen in its entirety as the 1%.
Blind to the privilege of free.
All countries are free as well as humans,
And if they ain’t,
It’s super important we all help each other
Not allowing any privilege
To any one being.
I’m glad you asked!
Privilege Is A Gift
You plus me
You VS. me
Take a seat
Enjoy what a privilege
I understand I have no idea what it’s like to be anyone but me,
But I do ya know –I’m staring at you-
Pain is pain,
I know when I’m hurting,
It feels the same for you,
Pain hurts and whether that pain comes in physical, emotional, or mental form,
Pain can be a privilege,
If I so choose to let it be.
There are a lot of humans who aren’t so happy with white rights, colors black,
And there’s a lot of rights.
But how many Rites have you seen?
…And speaking of rites,
Ain’t it in my birth?
Any beings birth.
Anytime I hear hurt or pain,
I practice putting myself in hurt or pains position.
It can be super challenging.
Sometimes I want to yell! Or attack!
But I practice,
I practice understanding as opposed being understood.
This allows me to come from a place of compassion.
Leaving entitlement out in the dark,
And true colors to shine.
It seems as if everyone is hurting.
Great and small.
I just saw where most of the meat you eat comes from, have you?
That afternoon I was at the beach picking up trash and gathering feathers,
Only to have left palm soaked with another reminder…
Entitled Privilege Colour Humano
Left palm had tar surrounding a tattoo I got some years ago,
LET LOVE IN
That’s a big reminder for me,
For you to you know?
LET LOVE IN
Do these feathers from the sea see color?
You VS. me?
Many die, are killed,
Because of the lack of responsibility human privilege has.
With Being Comes Great Responsibility
We’re all humans,
And if ya ain’t,
You’re the same to me.
I don’t care much for titles or labels member?
I work hard so that they may not see.
When a title or label sees first,
Most usually hearts ain’t seeing.
Any kind of privilege,
No matter what color,
Ya ever think what a privilege it is to see?
Ya ever feel what a privilege it is, the sea?
So what do I do?
I’ve written about what to do with all this Freedom?
So what do I do with all this privilege?
I suppose I am valuable,
Just as you are.
No matter what color,
I’ll give back,
And why wouldn’t I?
I would hope you, World, would do the same for me.
You have given me everything,
So it’s my privilege,
You and Me Together…
Her name is Holly and she is one of many,
Who have helped me.